Forgive But Can’t Forget

I feel like UIC needs more discussion. I want to be engaged with the community more, but how can that happen is nobody wants to converse with you? Or maybe they would, but they would never want to initiate it because it just seems socially awkward to talk to a complete stranger. I don’t get why this is awkward or uncommon because I always overhear people going to parties and meeting new people, having a “good time” doing God knows what. Yet you put those same people in a classroom and they’ll say nothing, stare at the ground or the chalkboard. There’s nothing stopping me to reaching out to people, but I’d really have to go out of my way to do it with no guarantees.

I think this whole “Kony 2012″ activism is just another hype. I mean, of course it is awful what he is doing and yes, he should definitely be stopped. We all know that, but the “how” is where we’ve got it all wrong. The campaign for Invisible Children has been around for awhile, but why the sudden interest now when it’s been around for so long? It’s like people have never heard of it before, but they have. They just didn’t “know” because they didn’t seek to understand or investigate for themselves. I’m not into politics, but there should be no reason for the U.S. government to go play police for the whole Earth. I’m pretty sure the Ugandans are pissed at our “sudden reaction” to the situation that doesn’t appear to have as much weight as it did before when it was actually going on in their country. It’s like when Japan had that awful tsunami and nuclear meltdowns last year, and we were in awe the whole time and constantly sending money to help with their situation and for the longest time there was so much media on it, especially about the radioactivity supposedly spreading to California and Chicago (I really don’t think so). My cousin was actually in Japan when that happened, and here we were in American freaking out when she responds with, “Whoa, chill! It’s actually not that bad here as everyone thinks it is.” And what about Haiti? That earthquake was devastating, and we were all sending money to help them with that situation…but what is it like there now? No one talks about it anymore. We just forgot.

And here is where I currently stand. We forget about the things that happen in the past because they apparently “don’t matter anymore.” We do this in our own memories, and I really hate it. I had a long talk with one of my friends from AAIV about a situation that happened to me and I had to tell him straight up that I was bothered by the whole Christianity thing and how they don’t do what they say.

I know it’s wrong to think that because “God’s followers” aren’t perfect that I shouldn’t be deterred by God, if he exists…but come on. I can’t get closer to You that way. I wasn’t bothered at first because I just laugh away my problems initially and I hate when people worry about me…but later when I was by myself and had time to reflect, I was angry and upset. This is not directly a Christianity thing I have a problem with, but because they are all so open about being religious I feel like what they say and do should align. They’re all really nice people, but when it came to a point that they were in a situation where they were unfamiliar, danger, they just froze. I mean, where the Hell was my Good Samaritan?

I have some things to work on myself. I’m glad I have a good family to tell me what things I have issues with that I must change if I really want to move forward in my life. I need to stop being nice to avoid getting taken advantage of and played with, stop making excuses for others, and be more confrontational to things that eat away with me. They’re right, and I think almost all of our problems can be solved if we just faced them straight on through confrontation. It’s the hardest thing to do, but it’s the most effective and you get to the point faster and waste time less.

I feel really bad about making my friend feel guilty about the situation, actually two of them in particular. I’m really glad I got to tell them how I felt, and I got to hear their side of the story. If I hadn’t done that, I’d probably continue to have this pessimistic view of everything and shut myself from interacting with others.

I just want to encourage others to be more active in their relationships. One of the reasons I avoided Facebook for so long was the fact that I didn’t feel connected to people who were my “friends.” I didn’t want to delete them, though, because what if one day you actually do become good friends with them. It’s not good to miss opportunities like that, so I continue to keep an open mind about others. I didn’t touch upon the “forget” part of my post title, but I feel that even though we are probably way different from the people we were in our past, they’re still in us and I don’t think it’s right to pretend like those things never happened.

If someone cheats on you, you might forgive them. If you do, they’ll be pretty happy and so genuinely thankful, but you know what happens? They’ll forget, and take you for granted again. It’s some evil cycle I think all of us are kind of stuck with unless you don’t associate with them anymore, but as humans I feel like we’re too kind. Even the most evil or messed up people, I think, had something critical in their lives that made them become the way they are, and going back to those roots is how we can really help others.

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About Milie Fang, Biological Sciences / Pre-medicine

I am a senior and an acclaimed workaholic. While I like to keep busy academically, I really enjoy the simple pleasures of hanging out with friends and family, playing video games, or listening to music. When life seems to go well, allergies and eczema like to butt in and make me miserable. I hope to go into medicine so that I can have a better understanding of skin and the immune system to help myself, and to also help others facing the same problems I have faced since I was three.

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