“You will survive without your high school boyfriend please see what else is out there.”
A short statement. Not even grammatically correct, but a statement nonetheless. And just one of many…
I see and hear things like this on an almost daily basis, whether it be through social media, in passing around campus, or on other blogs. Lately I saw it on yet another blog post so many of my Facebook friends felt the need to share and assure others that the blog was so insightful. It touched on some random amount of things every “college girl” should remember. As if “college girls” are an actual thing; what does that even mean? Yes, I, too, am a girl in college, but why is this female blog writer labeling me and so many other females as such? I don’t feel the need to classify myself as a college girl. I am a human being, and I am a junior in college.
At any rate, the reason I am so fed up with statements like this is because I can’t understand why someone would feel the need to encourage people to break up with their long-term significant others. Even more generally, I don’t understand why people try to tell other people so matter-of-factly that what they are doing with their ‘love life’ is wrong. How is it ever your place to validate or discredit someone else’s relationship?
Quite obviously, I took this personally because I have been dating my boyfriend for a month shy of 7 years. When people find this out, they are usually shocked. In fact, I can’t remember the last time someone discovered this and wasn’t completely surprised. It isn’t crazy to me- I have no idea where the time has gone. I can’t believe 7 years have passed, but in no way am I amazed that we are still together and never broke up.
When some people find this fact out, they will be incredibly bold and go so far as to ask if I feel like I’ve missed out on life or tell me that I know nothing about relationships because I have only been in one. Little do these people know that I feel like I’ve done the exact opposite of missing out on life; I feel as though my life has been so dramatically enhanced because of our relationship. I also feel like I know a lot about relationships, both from my experiences with ours in the past and present as well as from observing others as an outside party.
I do get asked many other questions along the same lines or am stuck conversing with someone who tries to tell me that things could never work out forever. The blog quote I mentioned above seems to be echoing the ignorant statements of these people.
To them, I normally keep quiet and listen to whatever dumb statements they want to make about my relationship or about long-term relationships in general. Because just as I feel they shouldn’t be challenging or doubting my relationship, I feel like I don’t need to tell them I disagree with their opinions.
Just because we have been dating for 7 years doesn’t make us weird, or too lazy to date other people, or whatever other descriptors people come up with. It means that I know that I’ve found the person I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have found this during my early teenage years.
So for those out there in long-term relationships or for anyone else in general, please stop listening to people who think they know everything about dating. Think for yourself- about what makes you happy, and leave the fear of judgements behind. Whatever brings you joy is what you should do, no matter what other people (or blogs) are saying. As for the girl writing the blog to all the “college girls”, it isn’t a matter of being able to survive without my high school (actually middle school) boyfriend- it’s a matter of choosing not to be without him. Because it works great, it makes us both happy, and it just fits. And that’s the way it is. I appreciate your input, but I think I’ll think for myself. Thanks :)